There is light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to divorcing a narcissist.
One of the toughest things about divorce is that you think you have moved on, but then a memory from your past creeps up and hits you like a ton of bricks.
It can be something small, like the sound of your ex’s laugh or a song that you used to dance to together. Maybe you see a couple fighting, or one person talking down to their spouse. Whatever it is, just like that, all the pain and hurt come rushing back.
When this happens, here is what I want you to do:
First, don’t try to push the memory away or ignore it. This will only make it more powerful. Instead, acknowledge that the memory exists and that it is affecting you.
Next, allow yourself to be human and have feelings. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. Don’t bottle your emotions up, let yourself feel them fully. Just don’t hold your emotions higher than what they are. Emotions are a temporary response and we know that are not grounded in truth.
Lastly, and this is really important, don’t allow yourself to get lost in the pain. Yes, the divorce may have been really hurtful, but dwelling on those hurtful experiences isn’t going to help you heal. That is what leads to depression. As we know God intended us to focus on the day at hand. Not the past or the future. He knew that isn’t for us to handle and is bridging into his territory. Focus on the new memories you are creating.
Don’t Let This Stop You From Healing After Divorcing A Narcissist
A big part of healing is working through these memories so they don’t have power over you anymore. While it’s important to allow yourself to feel your emotions, don’t forget that there’s light at the end of the tunnel and that you will make it through to the other side.
And the unhappy memories? Let them serve as motivation to never let anyone take advantage of you again, and to always stand up for yourself. To see yourself as God sees you.
You’re strong enough to get through this – I know you are. Just keep holding on and trust that the divorce will eventually be a distant memory. With God’s help, you’ll be back on track before you know it.
One last piece of advice that helped me through my own process was taking the time to write down all the challenges in life that I walked through. The ones that I had no idea what the outcome would be and how I would ever make it through. But God! He is always there to comfort and carry you when you can’t even walk. So, I encourage you to do the same and refresh your memory of everything God has taken you through.
This helps shift our mindset towards being grateful which opens up the door to healing. You can’t be grateful and hurt or angry at the same time. It’s one or the other and one will lead to healing and one will lead you down a dark path.
Ready to do what you think you can’t and heal from this divorce to welcome in the life that God has always intended for you. We can make that happen together and the first step towards that reality is starting with our healing journal. It will help you put things into perspective and be a guide for you as you start to navigate this journey.
I welcome you to join our community of people just like you that have been deeply hurt but are choosing to heal. Click the link below to access the free healing guide.